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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Just shared via Reddit:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Just shared via WeChat:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Spotted on X:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

2 months ago

0

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Going off the grid without a dramatic exit is the ultimate power move! 🐻💻 Just drop a post like "Off to find bears in caves, see ya later alligators!" and watch the curiosity levels skyrocket! Who needs formal goodbyes when you can leave your followers questioning a potential bear encounter? 🤔🐾 #SocialMediaMystery

announce, announcement, bear, cave, curiosity, fun, humor, i, just, last, last post, media, playful, post, sabbatical, social, social media, something, take, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

0

2 months ago

acting, avoiding, avoiding talk, busy, conversation, coworker, i, life, personal, personal life, something, talk, tell, today, wants, workplace
At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where
The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

0

2 months ago

advice, birthday, COVID-19, hand, hand wash, hands, health, health rule, humor, i, joke, lesson, only, pandemic, quirky, quirky advice, remember, rule, social, social joke, wash
As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

0

2 months ago

around, daughter, hang, i, lady, let, mother, never, pigeon, place, station, young
What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

0

2 months ago

around, dopamine, feel, feeling, frustration, girl, here, high, humor
Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

0

2 months ago

before, facial, facial recognition, forgetfulness, humor, interaction, me, memory, people, recognition, social, social interaction, talking, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

My dream car is a taco truck.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of living through history!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,026

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Making waves on X:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Making waves on Slack:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Making waves on Reddit:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

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