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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Going viral on Twitch:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Trending via Facebook:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

0
If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?
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Commentary:
Hmm, if I were that elusive birthday gift, I'd probably be expertly camouflaged in the back of the closet behind old shoes and forgotten board games, plotting my grand entrance like a surprise ninja 🎁🕵️‍♂️ Or perhaps I've cunningly disguised myself as a household item, blending in with the decor until the perfect moment to reveal myself in all my gift-wrapped glory! 🎉✨ But hey, no need to keep searching,

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Slack this month:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Just shared via Instagram:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Just shared via YouTube:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Just shared via Instagram:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Just shared via WeChat:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Spotted on Messenger:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Going viral on Instagram:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Trending via Discord:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

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