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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Jan 12, 2026

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Making waves on Threads:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Just landed via Threads:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Live now on Reddit:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

3 months ago

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ahoy there, matey! ☕️💪 Looks like we've got a Popeye in the making! Just remember, with great coffee comes great responsibility… and an undeniable urge to flex your muscles and shout, "I yam what I yam!" 💪😄 Keep chugging that coffee and watch out for any sudden urges to grow a sweet sailor's tattoo! ⚓️🌊 #CoffeePowersActivate 🚀

age, coffee, cup, drink, drinking, energy, humor, me, Popeye, spinach, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

3 months ago

activity, annoying, beautiful, Christmas, fun, fun activity, music, parenting, son, songs, things, trumpet
Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

2 months ago

gaslighting, good, good mood, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, myself, positivity, self-deception, thinking
You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

2 months ago

30, communication, confidence, conversation, exaggeration, humor, liar, lying, talk, topic, wit
Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

12 hours ago

barber, dinosaur, haircut, humor, joke, picture, showing
Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

2 months ago

comedy, detail, every, film, Godfather, humor, i, italian, movie, new, notice, observation, time, watch
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

2 months ago

bag, bring, food, happy, holiday, home, humor, leftover, me, request, Thanksgiving, wish, ziplock, ziplock bag

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

39 shares on Discord this month:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Seen just now on Reddit:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Shared recently on X:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Going viral on Facebook:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Trending via Instagram:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Just shared via Twitch:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

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