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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Nov 26, 2025

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Spotted on Slack:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Making waves on Instagram:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Going viral on YouTube:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Just landed via Messenger:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

4 weeks ago

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

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Commentary:
Ahoy there, matey! ☕️💪 Looks like we've got a Popeye in the making! Just remember, with great coffee comes great responsibility… and an undeniable urge to flex your muscles and shout, "I yam what I yam!" 💪😄 Keep chugging that coffee and watch out for any sudden urges to grow a sweet sailor's tattoo! ⚓️🌊 #CoffeePowersActivate 🚀

age, coffee, cup, drink, drinking, energy, humor, me, Popeye, spinach, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Nov 26, 2025

3,990

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Making waves on Threads:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Just shared via Snapchat:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Making waves on Reddit:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Just landed via WeChat:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Shared recently on Discord:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

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