Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.
  • I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.
  • I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.
  • I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.
  • If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.
  • Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.