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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2250 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,412

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,412

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Making waves on Facebook:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Shared recently on Slack:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Reported on Twitch:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Going viral on Twitch:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.
I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.
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Commentary:
"Looks like it's time for some creative regret management! 🤔📚 Introducing the oughtabiography – a hilarious tale of missed opportunities and shoulda-woulda-couldas! 😂💭 Don't just read about it, live it vicariously through the pages of 'I Oughta Known Better'! 📖✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2250 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,412

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,412

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Making waves on Twitch:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Making waves on Reddit:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Making waves on Discord:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Trending via Pinterest:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Trending via Reddit:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Just landed via Instagram:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Spotted on YouTube:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

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