Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🥧 "I may not be a math genius, but give me a slice of Pi and watch me work my magic… in my stomach! 🤣 Who needs equations when you have taste buds, am I right? 😋"

dessert, eating, food, good, humor, joke, math, Pi, pun, solving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

2 months ago

gator, guys, humor, i, Instagram, media, preferences, social, social media, tell, want, wildlife
I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

3 months ago

20s, 25, 30s, 35, actually, age, decade, humor, life, life stage, perception, self, self-perception, stage
I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

1 month ago

9, anxiety, asked, childhood, club, enough, good, humor, i, join, joke, little, nervous, situation, social, social situation, swing, swingers, swingers club
Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

2 months ago

anything, around, attraction, confidence, distraction, flirtation, grocery, grocery store, hot, humor, i, men, reach, self-awareness, store, weird
We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

3 months ago

actually, anxiety, city, city life, cool, cool things, going, going out, introvert, life, lifestyle, live, living, need, nightlife, person, personality, personality type, social, social anxiety, things, time, type, urban, urban living, word, workaholic, working
Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

2 months ago

dog, family, grandpa, humor, joke, loud, nickname, pet, snore

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Slack this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hope this email kills us both.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Just landed via Facebook:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Trending via Threads:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Seen just now on Slack:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Spotted on WeChat:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Going bananas on Threads:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Trending via Snapchat:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨