I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

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I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

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Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?