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Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Just landed via Snapchat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Going viral on X:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Making waves on Messenger:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text highlighting forgetfulness about gym name in a playful tone.

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Commentary:
"Who knew skipping the gym could lead to amnesia? 🏋️‍♂️ Maybe it's time to 'weight' no longer and re-exercise your memory muscles!"

blank, fitness, forgetfulness, gym, humor, i, irony, just, memory, name, saying

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83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

21 shares on Slack this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Making waves on X:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Going viral on Reddit:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Spotted on Slack:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Just shared via Threads:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Just landed via Threads:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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