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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'eat now, pray later' diet strategy. It's like a culinary Hail Mary pass – you never know when the miracle will happen, but you're definitely hoping for a touchdown in the form of a metabolism boost!"

diet, eat, food, humor, loss, miracle, new, pray, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

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2 months ago

backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up
Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

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2 months ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, humor, laziness, lifestyle, Sitbit, trade
The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

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1 month ago

balance, bank, call, called, compliment, finance, humor, i, just, me, money, motivation, outstanding, said, today
“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

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2 months ago

busy, humor, items, list, new, procrastination, task, to-do, to-do list, workload
I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

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2 months ago

car, casual, casual wear, clothing, dressing, fashion, getting, humor, i, just, meant, outfit, outfits, straight, style, think, wardrobe, wear
I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

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2 months ago

adulthood, believe, disbelief, experience, high, high school, humor, i, life, life experience, school, stress, think, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

71 shares on X this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Just shared via Twitch:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Trending via Messenger:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨