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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Just landed via TikTok:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Trending via Threads:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Just landed via Slack:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Spotted on YouTube:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Just shared via Instagram:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Shared recently on Slack:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'eat now, pray later' diet strategy. It's like a culinary Hail Mary pass – you never know when the miracle will happen, but you're definitely hoping for a touchdown in the form of a metabolism boost!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

85 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Trending via YouTube:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Just shared via Telegram:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Going viral on Telegram:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Shared recently on Threads:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

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