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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People should come with warning labels.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Just landed via YouTube:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Trending via Instagram:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Making waves on YouTube:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Playful quote about humorously mispronouncing French words with a witty tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh la la! Looks like someone's French pronunciation is a bit "faux pas"! 🙊 Time to brush up on those language skills before you accidentally order a "croissant" in a café and get a "croissant" instead! 🥐🤭

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

23 shares on X this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Going viral on Telegram:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Spotted on YouTube:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Just shared via X:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Going viral on YouTube:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

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