Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.
  • Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?
  • Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.
  • I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.
  • When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.
  • Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.