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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Going viral on Threads:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Just landed via Reddit:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

2 months ago

0

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh deer 🦌🚗 Love can be quite the surprise package! Who knew you were sharing your heart with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's distant relative? 😂❤️ Just when you thought you found your perfect match, turns out they're a reindeer enthusiast on the side! 🎄 #LoveIsUnpredictable

antlers, car, falling, finding, holiday, holiday spirit, holidays, humor, imagine, love, put, quirky, relationship, spirit, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

0

2 months ago

count, cynicism, humor, inconsistency, only, people, relationships, reliability, sarcasm, thing, trust
The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

0

2 months ago

activity, chase, craving, cream, fitness, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, running, truck
Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

0

2 months ago

accident, after, humor, i, irony, mishap, myself, self-check, self-deprecation, self-destruction, unfortunately
Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

0

2 months ago

equivalent, forget, forgetting, home, humor, leaving, medieval, modern, phone, sword, technology, times
Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, bed, bedtime, comfort, cover, cuddle, exaggeration, hard, humor, i, last, night, sleep
Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

0

2 months ago

appointment, around, doctor, eye, health, humor, irony, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Please hesitate to reach out.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Just shared via Reddit:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Just shared via Messenger:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Going viral on WeChat:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Seen just now on X:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Breaking via Instagram:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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