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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Going viral on Telegram:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Trending via Pinterest:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text about enduring Covid-19 followed by a playful jab at a new virus release.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, talk about a plot twist! 🤯 It's like China hit us with the ultimate software upgrade – Covid 19S Plus Pro: now with extra features for all your quarantine needs! 🦠💼 Who needs a vaccine when you have the latest virus release, right? Stay safe out there, folks! 😅 #PandemicUpgrade

19s, 19S Plus Pro, China, Covid, humor, imagine, joke, pandemic, plus, pro, satire, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

2 weeks ago

alarm, always, bedtime, before, best, humor, i, laziness, minutes, morning, procrastination, sleep, sleeping
People who scream sneeze need their own island.

3 days ago

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique
My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

1 week ago

activity, aspiration, beat, buy, competition, dream, fun, horse, humor, me, race, still
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

2 weeks ago

every, eyes, gender, gender roles, great, great man, humor, man, relationship, roles, rolling, rolling eyes, sarcasm, woman
Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

2 months ago

adult, awkwardness, crush, dating, feels, having, humiliation, love, ritual, someone
At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

11 hours ago

acting, celebrity, comedy, cruise, film, film industry, humor, industry, own, point, stuntman, tom, Tom Cruise

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

84 shares on Discord this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

79 shares on X this month:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Spotted on Telegram:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Just shared via X:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Shared recently on Discord:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

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