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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Just landed via TikTok:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Just landed via Instagram:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Seen just now on Facebook:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Live now on X:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

2 months ago

0

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, talk about a plot twist! 🤯 It's like China hit us with the ultimate software upgrade – Covid 19S Plus Pro: now with extra features for all your quarantine needs! 🦠💼 Who needs a vaccine when you have the latest virus release, right? Stay safe out there, folks! 😅 #PandemicUpgrade

19s, 19S Plus Pro, China, Covid, humor, imagine, joke, pandemic, plus, pro, satire, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

0

2 months ago

am, computer, doing, good, heat, humor, i, job, joke, laptop, multitasking, overheating, productivity, tech, tech joke, technology, work
Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

0

2 months ago

design, engineer, every, evil, eyes, humor, irony, just, led, red, red LED, robot, scenario, technology
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

0

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst
I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

0

2 months ago

believe, disbelief, funny situation, humor, i, loud, morning, motorcycle, neighbor, neighbors, noise, over, running, running over, situation, someone, tomorrow
One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

0

2 months ago

feature, features, fun, humor, me, nature, personality, quirkiness, squirrel, squirrels, top
Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

0

2 months ago

autumn, back, change, clock, clock change, clocks, daylight, daylight saving, depression, fall, forget, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, saving, seasonal, seasonal depression, set, time, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Ugh, but profoundly.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

94 shares on Slack this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Just landed via Reddit:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Spotted on Twitch:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

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