Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.
  • Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
  • Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.
  • I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?
  • My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.
  • Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.