Trendy Funny Quotes

  • They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.
  • I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.
  • Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.
  • I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.
  • I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.
  • I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.