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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Just landed via Telegram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Trending via Pinterest:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Just shared via Instagram:

This Monday could have been an email.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love it when God gives me money.

Going bananas on Discord:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised… And we all know that's when the real fun begins! 😜🚫👀"

alone, defense, excuse, humor, i, left, responsibility, unsupervised

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

0

2 months ago

am, exercise, fitness, humor, i, ID, Jesus, life, motivation, out of shape, right, run, shape, someone, today
I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, communication, frustration, humor, i, me, mortgage, okay, pay, pet, yell
Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

0

2 months ago

dating, downward, downward spiral, expectations, guy, guys, humor, i, know, relationship, say, spiral, spot, take, trust
Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

0

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, beauty, beauty treatment, conversation, getting, humor, just, lady, moment, nothing, open, talking, treatment, wax, waxing, wild
Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

0

2 months ago

call, call out, day, everyone, humor, launch, little, next, prank, soft, soft launch, stomach, weird, work
There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

0

2 months ago

activity, cinema, culture, egérmozi, films, fun, fun activity, Hungarian, means, modern, modern culture, mouse, mouse cinema, phone, shows, slang, watching, watching films, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on YouTube this month:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

71 shares on Instagram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Just shared via Messenger:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Seen just now on Threads:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Seen just now on Instagram:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Just shared via Facebook:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨