Funny defense quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

  Commentary:
  "Classic Carl, always ruining a good flight. 😂💀🦗"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

  …

  Commentary:
  "That's what happens when Netflix runs out of episodes! 🤷‍♂️📺😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

  Commentary:
  Ah, so it appears that the infamous "villain era" defense is making a comeback in today's courtroom drama! 🦹‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ We can only wonder what mischievous deeds were carried out during this questionable phase. Your honor, could it be that the defendant's cape and twirling mustache were mere fashion statements of the times? 🎩👀 #VillainEraChronicles

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

  Commentary:
  "Your Honor, I plead innocence by virtue of holiday confusion! 🥊🎁 Who knew Boxing Day involved gifts, not rounds in the ring? Just a little mix-up, nothing to knock me out over 😄💼 #LegalMishaps"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

  Commentary:
  "Well, in my opinion, burning a grilled cheese is a crime punishable by life imprisonment! 🧀🔥😂 #JusticeForGrilledCheese"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

  Commentary:
  📱😄 "Apologies for the delayed likes! In my defense, my phone has practically been an extension of my hand since the ancient times of 2012. Time flies when you're scrolling social media, right?" 🕰️🤳

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old question: Cake or Not Cake? 🎂🔪 Either way, it seems my client was driven by a dessert dilemma rather than a criminal intent, Your Honor! 😅 #CakeOrStab"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

  Commentary:
  "Your honor, my client kindly requests to opt out of the exclusive 'Jail Experience' program. They prefer the deluxe 'Freedom Package' with a side of innocence 🕶️🔓😄"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

  Commentary:
  "In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised… And we all know that's when the real fun begins! 😜🚫👀"

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