12 funny defense quotes - Wordgag

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

May 19, 2026

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

May 19, 2026

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Mar 31, 2026

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Mar 30, 2026

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Mar 29, 2026

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Mar 29, 2026

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Mar 28, 2026

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Mar 28, 2026

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Mar 27, 2026

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Mar 26, 2026

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Mar 24, 2026

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Mar 24, 2026