Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Remember, folks, life is like a pair of jeans – it's all fun and games until you realize you've been enjoying a bit too much fun and now those jeans are giving you a not-so-subtle reminder. It's all about finding that perfect balance between enjoyment and elastic waistbands!"

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

1 month ago
death, die, humor, i, irony, know, legacy, mischief, people, say, surprise, unconventional, want
I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

2 months ago
alternate, alternate reality, better, comparison, dimension, funny remark, humor, i, liked, personality, reality, remark, version
If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

1 month ago
family, humor, joke, marriage, mother, mother-in-law, proud, want
The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

1 month ago
body, crematorium, death, fitness, hope, hot, hot body, humor, irony, joke, last
Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

1 month ago
compliment, give, humor, irony, let, me, mistaken, person, response, self-deprecation, synopsis, why
Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

1 month ago
business, call, conversation, disguise, humor, me, prank, self-talk, speaking, take, voice

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Shared recently on Slack:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Making waves on Threads:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Spotted on Facebook:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Spotted on Instagram:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I wish I had a friend like me.

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏