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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Spotted on Discord:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Going viral on Telegram:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Shared recently on Slack:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Breaking via Discord:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just landed via Instagram:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I like you because we hate the same people.

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like Mom's upgrading from milk and cookies this year! 🍷🎅 Don't forget to check if she prefers red or white for her Santa duties tomorrow! 😉🎁 #MotherClaus"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

40 shares on Discord this month:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Going viral on Threads:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Making waves on Messenger:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Trending via Facebook:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Going bananas on X:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

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