Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.
  • Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.
  • If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.
  • I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.
  • If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.
  • You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.