It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.