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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Going viral on Twitch:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Making waves on TikTok:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Live now on Discord:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Spotted on Slack:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Just landed via Instagram:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Trending via TikTok:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

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It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic Sunday dilemma – snooze or choose church shoes! 😈👠 Looks like the devil is channeling his inner social media guru today, spreading likes instead of fire and brimstone. Who knew he had such a good eye for content? 😂👹 #SundayFunday #DevilLikes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

95 shares on Threads this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you breakdance you buy dance.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Breaking via YouTube:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Shared recently on Threads:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Breaking via YouTube:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Live now on Pinterest:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

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