Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Spotted on TikTok:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Trending via Instagram:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Just shared via Slack:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Spotted on Messenger:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Live now on Discord:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Making waves on Messenger:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

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I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.
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Commentary:
"Looks like Facebook might be saving humanity from some interesting recreational activities… 😂🙈 Who needs naked human Jenga when you have social media, am I right? 🤣 #FacebookSavesLives"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My recliner and I go way back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Making waves on Slack:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Just shared via Telegram:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Going viral on Instagram:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Trending via Facebook:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

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