Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Reality just couldn't take a hint, so now it's been officially ghosted with a restraining order 👻⚖️. Sorry, reality, it's not you, it's me… wanting to live in my own little dreamland 🌟💭. #ByeFelicia"

coping, escapism, humor, just, order, reality, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

54 shares on Discord this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Going viral on Threads:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just landed via Messenger:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Live now on Discord:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Just landed via Discord:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Trending via Threads:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨