Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Just landed via Reddit:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Breaking via Slack:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Going viral on Telegram:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Spotted on Facebook:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Breaking via Telegram:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Spotted on X:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Spotted on Slack:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Trending via TikTok:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Making waves on Slack:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect way to unwind after a long day – because nothing says 'chill' quite like a good ol' serial killer documentary 🤯🔪 Who needs calming nature sounds when you can have murder mysteries, right? Stay creepy, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️ #UnconventionalRelaxation"

chilling, documentary, entertainment, humor, irony, just, killer, news, put, relax, relief, serial, serial killer, stress, stress relief, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

17 shares on Slack this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Trending via YouTube:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Seen just now on Discord:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Going bananas on TikTok:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Just shared via Reddit:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

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