I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

I've just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Commentary:
“Ah, the perfect way to unwind after a long day – because nothing says ‘chill’ quite like a good ol’ serial killer documentary 🤯🔪 Who needs calming nature sounds when you can have murder mysteries, right? Stay creepy, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️ #UnconventionalRelaxation”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the glorious sight of a lonely ‘McFlurry Flag’ fluttering sadly in the wind… 🍦😂 #McStruggles”

  • I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

    Commentary:
    “Maybe being a Librarian isn’t your calling, but you’ve definitely mastered the ‘shushing’ art! 🤫📚 Keep quiet and carry on, oh silent sage!”

  • Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

    Commentary:
    🎷🤣 “Attention, attention! Your call is so important to us that we’ve decided to serenade you with an epic clarinet performance. Get ready for an unforgettable seventy-five minute musical journey… or until we remember you’re still waiting on the line! 😉🎶 #HoldMusicGoals #CustomerServiceChill”

  • Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs labeled ‘dishwasher safe’ when you have a ‘carelessly toss in and hope for the best’ approach? 🍽️🚫🧼 #LivingOnTheEdge”

  • Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

    Commentary:
    “Life hack: Solving the awkward small talk dilemma one cozy day at a time 🏡 Just add pajamas and Netflix for maximum avoidance success! 💁‍♂️ #HomebodyWinning”

  • My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking news: Birthday boy/girl demands zero attention on their special day! 🚫🎉 Let’s grant their wish by celebrating in absolute silence… or with the quietest party ever! 🎂🤫 Who needs cake when you have peace and quiet, am I right? 😂 #BirthdayWish #IntrovertCelebration”