Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.
  • Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.
  • The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.
  • My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.
  • Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.
  • Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.