Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.
  • Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.
  • When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.
  • I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
  • I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.
  • My brain has too many tabs open.