Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.
  • Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.
  • If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.
  • I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.
  • I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.
  • Life is just resetting your password until you die.