Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Just shared via Threads:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Going viral on Slack:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Shared recently on Slack:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Trending via YouTube:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Trending via Reddit:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about medical uncertainty with playful, witty words on a text-based image.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive dream of a patient seeking some medical honesty! 🤣 Who wouldn't appreciate a doctor with a dash of humility and a sprinkle of candidness? 🩺💬 Perhaps, just once, we'll stumble upon that mythical doctor who dares to admit the limits of medical certainty! 🤷‍♂️💡 #WishfulThinking"

doctor, good, guess, hear, humor, ID, just, medical, mine, say, uncertainty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

15 shares on TikTok this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

64 shares on Discord this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when the plot thickens.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Coffee is just goth water.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Breaking via Discord:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Trending via Twitch:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Spotted on Twitch:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴