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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Going bananas on X:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Just shared via Messenger:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Just landed via Slack:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Making waves on Messenger:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Trending via YouTube:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Just landed via TikTok:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true! 🌟 Instead, it seems like most labels have a disclaimer that translates to: Warning, may cause extra trips to the snack cabinet and sudden urge to nap. 😂 Oh, the irony of medication side effects! #WishfulThinking"

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

6 months ago

business, casual, eating, fruit, humor, minding, minding business, own, relaxation, summer, watermelon
Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

2 months ago

everywhere, gardening, healthy, house, houseplant, humor, i, indoor, indoor gardening, joke, observation, oh, plants, stereotype, thriving, walking, witchcraft
Problematic bed time gap relationship.

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, gap, humor, problem, problematic, relationship, time
Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

2 months ago

bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, cartoon wisdom, choices, fight, flight, humor, i, lady, lessons, life, life lessons, limited, me, pretend, pretty, pretty lady, wisdom
Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

3 weeks ago

dating, hell, humor, i, know, relationship, spot, take, woman, women
Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

2 months ago

30s, 40s, age, aging, car, check, check engine light, decade, engine, enjoy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, light, midlife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on X this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Just shared via TikTok:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Going viral on X:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Trending via Slack:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Making waves on WeChat:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Going viral on Instagram:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Trending via Threads:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Going viral on Instagram:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴