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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Just landed via Reddit:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Spotted on Threads:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Breaking via Discord:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Trending via Threads:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about wishing medication labels promised dramatic, humorous health transformations.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true! 🌟 Instead, it seems like most labels have a disclaimer that translates to: Warning, may cause extra trips to the snack cabinet and sudden urge to nap. 😂 Oh, the irony of medication side effects! #WishfulThinking"

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Twitch this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

32 shares on Discord this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

15 shares on X this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

66 shares on X this month:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents think they know me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Just shared via YouTube:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Trending via Pinterest:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Freshly posted on Discord:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Spotted on Threads:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

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