Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Life really knows how to keep it real with that unexpected plot twist at the end, huh? 🔄💀 It's like, 'Congratulations for surviving all that chaos… and now back to dust you go!' 🌟😂 #LifeIsAJourneyWithATwist"

dying, end, existential, humor, irony, life, reward, rude, still, struggle, stuff

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

0

1 month ago

advice, authenticity, even, humor, liked, liking, people, pressure, self-acceptance, social, social pressure, stop, trying
Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bothering, call, customer, customer service, hang, hang up, hold, hold music, music, phone, phone call, purpose, quality, repetition, repetitive, service, sound, sound quality, stop
If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, ever, honesty, humor, i, introvert, just, know, me, public, situation, social, social situation, want
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal
I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, go out, humans, humor, i, introvert, outdoors, social, social anxiety
Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

0

4 months ago

bed, bedtime, best, combo, comfort, ever, getting, literally, relaxation, routine, self-care, shower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

70 shares on X this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

92 shares on X this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

71 shares on X this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

96 shares on TikTok this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Just shared via Instagram:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Just shared via WeChat:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Spotted on X:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨