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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

It doesnโ€™t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they wonโ€™t find me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, thatโ€™s called chewphoria.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Spotted on X:

โ€œYouโ€™re so understanding,โ€ yeah, because I donโ€™t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Before you try to save someone, make sure youโ€™re not interrupting their karma.

Breaking via Facebook:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Trending via YouTube:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Trending via Telegram:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Still canโ€™t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If Iโ€™m ever found dead in the woods, itโ€™s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Just landed via Threads:

Texting a man first feels like Iโ€™m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the Monday slump – a force to be reckoned with! ๐Ÿค” Sounds like last week's slump had serious staying power… Maybe this week, Monday will realize it's overstayed its welcome and make a swift exit! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Here's to battling the Monday blues with humor and a strong cup of coffee! โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ’ช"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ainโ€™t scared of nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now itโ€™s the opposite.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

You donโ€™t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, Iโ€™ll get the message.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on X:

I donโ€™t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Spotted on Threads:

Itโ€™s not the destination that matters. Itโ€™s the snacks you eat on the way.

Trending via Threads:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Just shared via YouTube:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Trending via Threads:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Broadcasted on X:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My dentist plays country music, so itโ€™s like a double torture.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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