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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Trending via Threads:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Trending via Telegram:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Spotted on Instagram:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

6 months ago

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the Monday slump – a force to be reckoned with! 🤔 Sounds like last week's slump had serious staying power… Maybe this week, Monday will realize it's overstayed its welcome and make a swift exit! 😂 Here's to battling the Monday blues with humor and a strong cup of coffee! ☕️💪"

Friday, humor, last, lasts, Monday, motivation, procrastination, slump, time, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Just landed via Threads:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Breaking via Threads:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Shared recently on Slack:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Spotted on Discord:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Making waves on X:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Going viral on Facebook:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

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