Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,757

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Going viral on Twitch:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Going viral on Pinterest:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Just shared via Telegram:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Shared recently on Slack:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Live now on Pinterest:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Going viral on Twitch:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about enduring Monday struggles with a playful, humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the Monday slump – a force to be reckoned with! 🤔 Sounds like last week's slump had serious staying power… Maybe this week, Monday will realize it's overstayed its welcome and make a swift exit! 😂 Here's to battling the Monday blues with humor and a strong cup of coffee! ☕️💪"

Friday, humor, last, lasts, Monday, motivation, procrastination, slump, time, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on X this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

65 shares on Threads this month:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

72 shares on Discord this month:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

40 shares on Slack this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Live now on Slack:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Trending via LinkedIn:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Just landed via Twitch:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Spotted on Reddit:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Breaking via Facebook:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just shared via Slack:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴