Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.
  • Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.
  • What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.
  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  • That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.
  • If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.