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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Just shared via WeChat:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Just shared via TikTok:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Breaking via Twitch:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Breaking via Slack:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Shared recently on Reddit:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Just shared via X:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

2 months ago

0

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of lorebombing, where exchanging life updates with a new friend in your thirties feels like sharing episodes from a TV series you both somehow missed! 📚🤝 It's like trying to binge-watch several seasons at once just to keep up with each other's 'plot twists'! #ThirtiesTales"

catch, catch up, friend, friendship, life, life update, lorebombing, new, new friend, socializing, thirty, update

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

0

2 months ago

confession, courtroom, defense, era, honor, humor, i, incident, time, villain
Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

0

2 months ago

ever, hearing, humor, husband, marriage, nobody, plans, relationship, second, surprise, time, wife
That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

0

2 months ago

anger, awkward, awkward moment, click, frustration, humor, moment, pen, situation, social, social situation, someone, time
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

0

2 months ago

dieting, easily, frustration, humor, i, keys, lose, mind, phone, temper, weight, wish
If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

0

2 months ago

extra, extraordinary, great, helping, humor, irony, just, life, ordinary, perspective, simplicity, think
When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

0

2 months ago

again, door, humor, just, life, logic, open, optimism, perspective, problem-solving, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

35 shares on X this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

87 shares on Threads this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

31 shares on Threads this month:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Making waves on Instagram:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Trending via Threads:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Spotted on Telegram:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

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