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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Going viral on Threads:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Trending via Reddit:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Broadcasted on Threads:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Going viral on Instagram:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

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Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.
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Commentary:
"Marriages are like pancakes – sounds delicious, right? 🥞 But hey, if the first one turns out a bit burnt, it's okay to toss it and try again! 😅 Who knew breakfast foods could provide such sage advice on relationships? #PancakesOverHeartbreaks"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Discord this month:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

61 shares on Threads this month:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Just landed via Telegram:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Spotted on X:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Trending via Snapchat:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Breaking via YouTube:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Seen just now on Discord:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

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