Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,893

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Spotted on Threads:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Freshly posted on X:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

2 months ago

0

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Marriages are like pancakes – sounds delicious, right? 🥞 But hey, if the first one turns out a bit burnt, it's okay to toss it and try again! 😅 Who knew breakfast foods could provide such sage advice on relationships? #PancakesOverHeartbreaks"

advice, cooking, humor, marriage, pancake, pancakes, relationship, sometimes, throw, throw out

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

0

1 month ago

angel, bell, diarrhea, every, fast, fast food, food, gastrointestinal, humor, joke, rings, sarcasm, taco, Taco Bell, time
Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

0

2 months ago

activity, confidence, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, mean, music, self-expression, sing
The lion can’t keep living like this.

0

1 month ago

animal, humor, keep, lion, living, motivation
Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

0

2 months ago

calory, counting, diet, eating, food, fun, great, humor, irony, math, not eating, super, things
They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

0

1 month ago

asking, asleep, humor, irony, question, sleep, stupid, stupid question, thing, wake
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

64 shares on Discord this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Going viral on Slack:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Shared recently on Slack:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Shared recently on X:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Just landed via TikTok:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

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