Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Making waves on X:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Seen just now on Slack:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Potato, oh potato, so symmetrical and round, would you like a little smash in town? 😏🥔 #SeductiveSpud"

flirt, food, humor, joke, looking, mash, me, potato, seduction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

0

2 months ago

awake, bit, discussion, funny moment, hold, i, just, moment, nap, renewing, renewing vow, sneeze, vow, wife
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

0

2 months ago

bring, comedy, dumb, dumbest, entertainment, ever, humor, internet, me, meme, seen, shit, silly
Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

0

2 months ago

back, cheer, cheers, comfort, comfort food, eating, food, gain, humor, me, right, sad, sadness, self-deprecation, weight, weight gain
You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

0

2 months ago

babe, conversation, date, expectations, humor, me, okay, promise, relationship
I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad luck, coincidence, funny remark, happening, humor, i, inside, luck, questioning, remark, superstition, umbrella, wonder
Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

0

2 months ago

area, dating, disappointment, holiday, horny, horny single, humor, meet, only, real, Santa, single, singles, wanting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Shared recently on X:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Trending via Discord:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Live now on Threads:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨