Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Going bananas on Slack:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Just shared via Messenger:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Just shared via Facebook:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Just landed via Slack:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Making waves on X:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Trending via WeChat:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Potato, oh potato, so symmetrical and round, would you like a little smash in town? 😏🥔 #SeductiveSpud"

flirt, food, humor, joke, looking, mash, me, potato, seduction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

0

2 months ago

battles, humor, i, lazy, let, me, pick, procrastination, self-deprecation
Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

0

2 days ago

airport, awkwardness, behavior, day, Earth, first day, human, human behavior, humor, observation, people, perfect, place, public, public place, travel
I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, bed, bedtime, comfort, excitement, getting, i, laying, laying down, love, relaxation
Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

0

2 months ago

course, crush, delusion, going, humor, leave, love, reality, relationship, spouse, work
One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

0

2 months ago

getting, humor, i, just, mask, miss, nostalgia, pandemic, playfulness, relief, surgery, thing
Absurdity is the spice of life.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, fun, humor, irony, life, quirkiness, spice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

91 shares on Discord this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

88 shares on X this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

12 shares on X this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Live now on WeChat:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Making waves on Slack:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Seen just now on Slack:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Trending via Slack:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Just shared via Threads:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨