Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.
  • I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.
  • When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.
  • If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.
  • My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.
  • If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.