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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Live now on YouTube:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Just landed via Slack:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Breaking via Threads:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.
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Commentary:
🤔💭 "Considering a career change from professional procrastinator to expert laundress 🧺💼. Who knew matching socks could be so time-consuming… 😅 #AdultingGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Spotted on Discord:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Spotted on X:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Reported on YouTube:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Just shared via WeChat:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Trending via Discord:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Just landed via YouTube:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

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