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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Going viral on Twitch:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Going viral on YouTube:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Making waves on Messenger:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Spotted on X:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

2 months ago

0

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ahoy there, landlubbers! 🚤 If gravy can sail the high seas of deliciousness in its own boat, why can't other foods join in the nautical adventure? ⛵ Let's set sail with some spaghetti boats, taco rafts, and pizza yachts! 🍝🌮🍕 Bon voyage to flavor town! ⚓️"

boat, creativity, culinary, food, fun, gravy, humor, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

0

2 months ago

after, bad, bad decisions, card, credit, credit card, decisions, good, humor, late, late night, midnight, money, night, nightlife, nothing, spending
Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

0

2 months ago

animals, calm, cow, farm, floor, food, humor, whole
Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

0

2 months ago

20, attic, box, humor, humor about unused items, i, items, keep, long-term, next, nice, preservation, sarcasm, should, storage, unused
Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

0

2 weeks ago

car, Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, family, holiday, honey, humor, procrastination, store
Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

0

2 months ago

communication, education, first grade, grade, handwriting, kid, kids, note, parenting, stress, teacher
Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, exhaustion, here, humor, life, reality, responsibility, tired, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

28 shares on Discord this month:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

15 shares on X this month:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Breaking via Slack:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Just landed via Telegram:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Spotted on Discord:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Just shared via Slack:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Trending via Twitch:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Live now on YouTube:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

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