Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew that the real horror of being a zombie is not the brain-eating or the decay, but just the sheer amount of cardio involved? No wonder they're always moaning – those poor undead souls just need a rest day!"

apocalypse, exercise, fear, humor, laziness, undead, walking, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was dropped as an adult.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

90 shares on Discord this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

69 shares on X this month:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Just landed via WeChat:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Seen just now on Slack:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Just shared via X:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Making waves on X:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Shared recently on X:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨