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Commentary:
"Who knew that the real horror of being a zombie is not the brain-eating or the decay, but just the sheer amount of cardio involved? No wonder they're always moaning – those poor undead souls just need a rest day!"

apocalypse, exercise, fear, humor, laziness, undead, walking, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, end, everyone, hold, hold on, humor, i, plot, plot twist, surprise, think, tight, twist, year
My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

0

2 months ago

always, boss, contrast, cute, different, family, humor, i, me, mom, opinion, sleep, tell, used, work
The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

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2 months ago

children, dynamics, having, humor, other children, parenting, parents, social, social dynamics, thing, worst, worst thing
If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

0

2 months ago

honesty, humor, lie, me, relationship, retaliation, sarcasm, tell, truth
Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

0

2 months ago

cheat, cheat code, code, codes, difficulty, game, hard, humor, level, parenting, teenager, teenagers, video, video game
“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

0

1 month ago

age, aging, day, discomfort, head, humor, hurts, i, neck, next, night, pain, pillow, sleep, turn, where, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

75 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Live now on TikTok:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Seen just now on Discord:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Trending via Telegram:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Making waves on Pinterest:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨