Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.
  • Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?
  • My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.
  • If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.
  • The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.
  • If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.