My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea. Posted on5 days ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppCommentary:"Ah, the dangerous yet delicious pizza-to-diarrhea conversion machine… quite the unorthodox metabolism upgrade!" Related Funny Quotes 🤝 My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X. I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money. The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat! My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.