My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.