Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.
  • Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.
  • It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.
  • Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.
  • The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’
  • Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.