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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,971

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Making waves on Reddit:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Spotted on Telegram:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Just landed via X:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Trending via Telegram:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

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My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.
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Commentary:
Well, your dad's handwriting sounds like a secret code only decipherable by pharmacists with exceptional skills! 🤓💊 It's like each letter is on a mission to confuse, but hey, at least it adds some mystery to reading a shopping list! 📝😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

77 shares on X this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

56 shares on Discord this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,725

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Just shared via Facebook:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Shared recently on Slack:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Breaking via Discord:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Just landed via Threads:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

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