Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Just shared via Slack:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Trending via Discord:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Breaking via Twitch:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Live now on Instagram:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about messy handwriting making a pharmacist look artistic.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, your dad's handwriting sounds like a secret code only decipherable by pharmacists with exceptional skills! 🤓💊 It's like each letter is on a mission to confuse, but hey, at least it adds some mystery to reading a shopping list! 📝😄

calligrapher, comparison, dad, family, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

79 shares on Discord this month:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Shared recently on TikTok:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Breaking via YouTube:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Making waves on Discord:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Live now on YouTube:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

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