Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate throwback to hindsight humor! It seems like someone had a rough start from day one, but hey, at least they didn't make the same mistake twice… or did they? Birthdays must be a real blast for this person, huh?

birth, existential, humor, irony, life, mistake, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

0

2 months ago

bed, crunchy, food, humor, i, joke, mattress, pun, sleep, Tempura, too
The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

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1 month ago

count, cynicism, humor, inconsistency, only, people, relationships, reliability, sarcasm, thing, trust
I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

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2 months ago

annoyance, design, furniture, humor, i, inconvenience, issue, movement, moves, rush, take
Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

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1 month ago

ambulance, confusion, driver, gender, humor, identity, pronoun, pronouns, transgender
Does anyone know where I can find true love?

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1 month ago

anyone, dating, humor, i, know, love, question, relationship, romance, true, true love, where
Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

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5 months ago

avoidance, dealing, Elsa, feelings, freeze, frozen, humor, i, kingdom, level, respect

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

60 shares on X this month:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

99 shares on Discord this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Seen just now on Slack:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Spotted on Slack:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Just shared via X:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Making waves on WeChat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨