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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Going viral on Instagram:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Going viral on Telegram:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Just shared via Reddit:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Spotted on Messenger:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Spreading quickly via X:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Funny quote about life's regrets, featuring witty humor about birth and mistakes.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate throwback to hindsight humor! It seems like someone had a rough start from day one, but hey, at least they didn't make the same mistake twice… or did they? Birthdays must be a real blast for this person, huh?

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Shared recently on X:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Making waves on WeChat:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Trending via Twitch:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Going bananas on Threads:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via Messenger:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

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