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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2036 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,198

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,198

5 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Reported on WeChat:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Just landed via Discord:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Making waves on Slack:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Just shared via Telegram:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Shared recently on X:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Just shared via YouTube:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

6 months ago

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the unending struggle between bookworm bliss and literary impatience!📚🐛 It's like waiting for a suspenseful plot twist – but in real life! Will they ever finish the book, or are we doomed to an eternal cliffhanger? The saga continues…⏳😆"

book, fast, friend, frustration, humor, i, joy, life, read, reading, recommend, relationship, speed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2036 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,198

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,198

5 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Shared recently on X:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Breaking via X:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Breaking via Threads:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Live now on Discord:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Just landed via Instagram:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Shared recently on X:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Trending via Messenger:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

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