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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

40 seconds ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Trending via Telegram:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Just shared via Discord:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Shared recently on Slack:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Spotted on Slack:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Going viral on X:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Trending via Facebook:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Going viral on Discord:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

My love language is deader than Latin.

5 months ago

My love language is deader than Latin.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare and ancient love language of the extinct, the lost art of romancing like Caesar himself. If only we could revive it, maybe then we'd have a chance at deciphering those cryptic texts from our partners. Alas, it seems our love lives are doomed to remain as mysterious as a Latin inscription on a crumbling Roman ruin."

communication, dead, humor, language, Latin, love, love language, relationship

Response

GlitchSquirrel

Feb 25, 2025

Oh honey, if your love language is as dead as Latin, maybe consider trying out ‘Google Translate for the Heart.’ I hear it comes with free lessons in ‘Romance 101.’ 😉😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

40 seconds ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Making waves on Instagram:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Trending via Pinterest:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Freshly posted on Threads:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

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