Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.
  • Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.
  • I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.
  • Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.
  • Time machine? You mean a clock?
  • Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.