Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Spotted on Slack:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Spotted on Twitch:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Just landed via Discord:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Making waves on Threads:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Making waves on Threads:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Going bananas on Discord:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Breaking via Twitch:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Alexa has reached her boiling point with the never-ending questions! 🔥🛁🍞 Who knew a toaster could double up as a 'shocking' bath companion? 😆 Looks like someone needs to give that curious nephew a break… or a waterproof advisory! 🤦‍♂️💡

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

82 shares on Slack this month:

There are too many neglected emojis.

29 shares on Threads this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

25 shares on Discord this month:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

76 shares on Discord this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Live now on Snapchat:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Trending via Telegram:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Spotted on Slack:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

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