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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Just landed via Discord:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Reported on WeChat:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Trending via Snapchat:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Just landed via WeChat:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Going viral on Facebook:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Just landed via X:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

6 months ago

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Alexa has reached her boiling point with the never-ending questions! 🔥🛁🍞 Who knew a toaster could double up as a 'shocking' bath companion? 😆 Looks like someone needs to give that curious nephew a break… or a waterproof advisory! 🤦‍♂️💡

advice, Alexa, bathe, family, humor, just, nephew, okay, questions, technology, toaster, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Trending via Threads:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Live now on Pinterest:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Trending via Pinterest:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Trending via YouTube:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just landed via YouTube:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Shared recently on X:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Breaking via Reddit:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Trending via Messenger:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Reported on Snapchat:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

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