Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Broadcasted on Slack:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Breaking via X:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Breaking via Reddit:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Going bananas on X:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Just landed via Messenger:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about a curious nephew confusing Alexa and a toaster for bathing buddies.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Alexa has reached her boiling point with the never-ending questions! 🔥🛁🍞 Who knew a toaster could double up as a 'shocking' bath companion? 😆 Looks like someone needs to give that curious nephew a break… or a waterproof advisory! 🤦‍♂️💡

advice, Alexa, bathe, family, humor, just, nephew, okay, questions, technology, toaster, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

22 shares on Discord this month:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Going viral on Reddit:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Going viral on YouTube:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Broadcasted on X:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Trending via YouTube:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Going viral on Slack:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

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