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I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

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A mustache is just mouth bangs.

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Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

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My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

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To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

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Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

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I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

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Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

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Uh oh, said somethinโ€™ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

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My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

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Well, who knew staff meetings could lead to such eye-opening revelations? ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’ก Sounds like a real wake-up call, literally! ๐Ÿ˜‰ #OfficeLife #SleepApneaAwareness



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