Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.
  • Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.
  • Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.
  • The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.
  • Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?
  • Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.