My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.