Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

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Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

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Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

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Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

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This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.