Trendy Funny Quotes

  • People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.
  • Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.
  • I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.
  • I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.
  • Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.
  • Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.