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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2297 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,459

Funny Quotes Topics

15,165

Funny Quotes Images

12,459

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Just shared via X:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Reported on WhatsApp:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Just landed via X:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Reported on Threads:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.
Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of it all! 🙈🦠 It’s a true testament to the unpredictable nature of celebrity endorsements – who knew our fave celebs would turn to cartoon monkeys in times of crisis? 🐒💁‍♂️ Remember, sometimes even the biggest stars make questionable choices while navigating through uncertain times! #PandemicPloys 🌟

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2297 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,459

Funny Quotes Topics

15,165

Funny Quotes Images

12,459

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Going viral on Messenger:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Trending via Discord:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

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