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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Seen just now on Discord:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Trending via Telegram:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Just shared via X:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

2 months ago

0

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of it all! 🙈🦠 It’s a true testament to the unpredictable nature of celebrity endorsements – who knew our fave celebs would turn to cartoon monkeys in times of crisis? 🐒💁‍♂️ Remember, sometimes even the biggest stars make questionable choices while navigating through uncertain times! #PandemicPloys 🌟

absurdity, art, cartoon, celebrity, celebrity culture, celebs, culture, forget, humor, media, monkey, pandemic, pictures, sell, social, social media, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

0

2 months ago

conversation, discussing, favorite, friendship, girl, girl humor, girl talk, goal, goals, humor, interaction, men, minutes, planning, shoe, six, social, social interaction, talk, talking, trip
According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

0

2 months ago

appetite, bacon, breakfast, cooking, exaggeration, family, food, humor, i, just, meal
Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

0

2 months ago

everything, fat, humor, joke, leave, me, weight
Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

0

2 weeks ago

cost, flight, JetBlue, Miami, NYC, price, ride, ride share, rides, same, share, transportation, travel, travel cost, Uber
I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, am, excitement, feeling, freedom, heavy, heavy metal, honor, i, know, lightning, metal, music, nature, racing, smoke, thrill, thunder, under, wind
Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

0

2 months ago

car, driving, even, every, hit, humor, i, just, passenger, reaction, scream, something, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

11 shares on Twitch this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

23 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Going viral on Reddit:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Trending via TikTok:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Going viral on X:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴