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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Breaking via Instagram:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Going viral on YouTube:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Seen just now on X:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Breaking via X:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

1 month ago

Funny quote highlighting how celebs promoted silly monkey images during the pandemic.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of it all! 🙈🦠 It’s a true testament to the unpredictable nature of celebrity endorsements – who knew our fave celebs would turn to cartoon monkeys in times of crisis? 🐒💁‍♂️ Remember, sometimes even the biggest stars make questionable choices while navigating through uncertain times! #PandemicPloys 🌟

absurdity, art, cartoon, celebrity, celebrity culture, celebs, culture, forget, humor, media, monkey, pandemic, pictures, sell, social, social media, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

100 shares on X this month:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My middle finger salutes you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Making waves on YouTube:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Just landed via Messenger:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Live now on Pinterest:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Making waves on Telegram:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

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