Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Jan 6, 2026

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Just shared via Messenger:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Shared recently on X:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Going viral on Messenger:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Spotted on Pinterest:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Just landed via YouTube:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

2 months ago

0

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the kitchen roll runs out, suddenly everyone becomes an aspiring astronomer, gazing out into the galaxy of dirty dishes and crumb-filled countertops with their trusty telescope 🌌🔭 Who needs the stars when you have kitchen roll tubes for a glimpse into the infinite unknown of the sink! 🚀🌠

age, empty, household, humor, kitchen, matter, observation, old, roll, telescope

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

0

2 months ago

40, age, am, appearance, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, self-deprecating
Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, communication, crazy, garbage, going, jail, letter, mail, pieces, reply, straight
I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

0

3 months ago

12, back, came, childhood, humor, i, memory, never, nostalgia, password, passwords, procrastination, security
“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, awkwardness, everyone, expectation, expectation vs reality, fact, fun, fun fact, group, group activity, humor, i, icebreaker, idea, introduce, introduction, nice, reality, room, social, social awkwardness, thought, vs, wrong, wrong idea
Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

0

2 months ago

challenge, humor, irony, kill, life, motivation, resilience, still, struggle, survival, trying, whatever
I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

0

2 months ago

conversation, good, humor, interesting, listener, personality, social, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

92 shares on Discord this month:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mike is short for Micycle.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Work beers should be a daily thing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Breaking via TikTok:

The older I get, no.

Just shared via Snapchat:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴