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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

7 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Trending via Telegram:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Making waves on WeChat:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Spotted on Reddit:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Reported on YouTube:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

6 months ago

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

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Commentary:
When the kitchen roll runs out, suddenly everyone becomes an aspiring astronomer, gazing out into the galaxy of dirty dishes and crumb-filled countertops with their trusty telescope 🌌🔭 Who needs the stars when you have kitchen roll tubes for a glimpse into the infinite unknown of the sink! 🚀🌠

age, empty, household, humor, kitchen, matter, observation, old, roll, telescope

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

7 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Spotted on Snapchat:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Just shared via Slack:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Going viral on Twitch:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Going viral on TikTok:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Just landed via X:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

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